We have a little problem
by liz1967
Summary: What happens when the head of MI6 doesn't know who she is?
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Bond or M though I wish I did. Got this idea after hitting my head at work. Hope you enjoy.**

"Tanner, This is Bond...We have a problem" was how the conversation started.

"Bond. What seems to be the trouble" said tanner sounding slightly irritated as he ducked into the nearest alcove of the restaurant he was at for some privacy.

"It's M. She's had an accident"

"What kind of accident? Is she alright?" Tanners tone immediately changed from one of slight irritation of total concern.

"When, I arrived at her flat I found her in a heap at the bottom of the stairs unconscious with a nasty gash to her forehead and blood, lots of blood" he said as calmly as possible.

"Well why the hell didn't you think to call an ambulance?" asked Tanner

"Well it's a little more complicated than that" said Bond sounding agitated

"What do you mean more complicated!"said Tanner "You find your boss unconscious at the bottom of the stairs, you pick up the phone and call an ambulance what's so complicated about that?" he said almost hysterical by this point "How is she now?"

"Well at the moment she's conscious but...Well the thing of it is she doesn't know who I am" he said

"I'll be right there. By the way just what are you doing at M's flat" he asked sounding a bit confused

"Never mind that right now. Just Get here!" was all he said

"Now M" He said as reassuringly as he could "I'm not trying to hurt you. I only want to stop the bleeding"

"Who are you?" she said as she kept backing away from him

"I'm Bond, don't you remember?" he asked softly

"What do you want?...Where am I?" she asked in a very shaky voice as she looked around the hallway

"You're at home and you've had a nasty fall" he paused to see if any of what he was saying was registering, but the blank tearful look told him it wasn't

"I don't know you" she said pressing herself against the wall

Bond attempted to put a cloth on M's forehead to stop the bleeding, but each time he got within arm's reach she would pull back from him, her eyes wide and glassy with a look of total fear and tears streaming down her bloodied cheeks. Bond had never seen her look so frightened, almost as if she were a small lost child. Just then the doorbell rang.

"I'll be right back" he said as he went to answer the door.

"Bond. What the bloody hell happened?" said Tanner brushing past him as he rushed to M's side

"I have no idea" said Bond closing the door

"Ma'am, are you alright?" he asked kneeling beside her

"Who are you?" she said her eyes wide of both fear and confusion

"I'm Tanner ma'am...I'm" he started to say as Bond interrupted him

"Tanner! A word" said Bond motioning to the sitting room

Tanner quickly followed Bond leaving M sitting on the steps in the hallway

"We need to get her some medical attention" said Bond

"Yes we do. A fact you should have been able to work out for yourself before you called me!" he said angrily

"Well just what did you expect me to do? Take her to hospital and then try to explain that her name is M as in the letter m not as in Emilie, or that her occupation is classified, or the fact that I don't know anything about her personal life except she is a widow and I have no idea how to contact her children even if she would let me? Oh that would have gone well don't you think?" he retorted

"Yes I see your point." said Tanner conceding that Bond had made a valid point.

"I know she needs treatment, but I think we had better get her to MI6 medical rather than an ordinary hospital for security reasons. We don't want to have to explain that the head of the British Secret Service seems to have lost her memory now do we!"

"Good point." said Tanner nodding in agreement "I have a car waiting outside

"I'll see if I can get her to trust me enough to take her to medical" said Bond walking back toward the hallway

"What if she won't go?" asked Tanner sounding a bit concerned "You know how stubborn she is memory or no memory" he said

"Well...If I can't convince her to go willingly than I have no other choice than to pick her up and carry her kicking and screaming" he said

"You had better hope she's really lost her memory or you will be wearing your guts for garters in the morning" he said under his breath as he followed Bond to collect M.


	2. Chapter 2 Wait and See

**This one is more serious but never fear I will sprinkle some humor in here and there.**

With a lot of coaxing Bond and Tanner finally managed to get M into the car for the ride to headquarters. Once they arrived M was immediately whisked away into an exam room leaving Bond and Tanner to wait in the hall.

"We need a plan" said Bond sipping on his stale, lukewarm coffee.

"Well as far as the office is concerned I can run things for the next few days. I can just say she had some sort of family emergency" replied Tanner

"Right. Best not to raise any suspicions" said Bond nodding in agreement

What about contacting her children?" asked Tanner hesitantly

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We'll wait and see what the doctor has to say, after all it could just be shock causing the memory loss"

"Right. What about contacting Mallory?"

"Christ NO!" replied Bond looking at Tanner as if he has suddenly grown a second head "He'll be all over you like flies on manure, trying to assume command. No best to keep him in the dark for the time being as well."

"We'll have to tell Eve. She's very discreet, very loyal to M and she is the first line of defense for anyone trying to contact M." said Tanner

"Alright, but that's it until we know more" replied Bond firmly.

"Agreed"

After a few hours the door to M's room finally opened and the doctor headed toward Bond and Tanner.

" 007, Mr. Tanner. Anyone care to tell me just what happened to her?" he said looking at the two men.

Bond and Tanner exchanged glances and both shrugged their shoulders

"Didn't she tell you?" asked Bond hoping that since they had arrived M had regained at least enough of her memory to explain.

"We need to talk privately" said the doctor motioning to a private conference room across the hall.

"How is she?" asked Bond the concern clearly showing in his voice

"Well, under the circumstances she is doing reasonably well"

"So just exactly what are we dealing with?" interjected Tanner impatiently as he took a seat next to Bond

"Well...I'm not really sure I should be discussing this with the two of you, but seeing that you are the ones who brought her in you are already aware of the state she is in."

"Go on" said Bond as his eyes narrowed

"Aside from a twisted ankle, some minor bumps and bruises and a four inch gash along her hair line M appears to be suffering from a brain injury caused by a concussion she sustained in the fall."

"No Kidding" replied Bond sarcastically

"As a result" he continued "She is displaying signs of amnesia" he paused for a moment to let his words sink in before he continued. "Because of this, the memory loss could last only a few hours OR it could last a few weeks, OR it may never fully return. We will just have to wait and see."

"Wait and See!" shouted Tanner angrily "Do you have any idea just who that woman is?" he said standing up to pace about the room. " She isn't just someone's elderly mother or Grandmother who took a nasty tumble down the stairs. She is the bloody head of MI6. Just what exactly are we to tell the Prime Minister? Sorry sir she can't protect or defend you at the moment as she can't remember who you are?"

Bond, who had been rather quiet throughout most of the conversation finally spoke up.

"Can we see her?" he asked quietly

"Yes. I think that she would like that as you two are the only familiar faces to her at the moment." replied the doctor as he moved toward the door

"What a bloody nightmare this is" said Tanner rubbing his forehead

"Oh stop whining Tanner" said Bond clearly irritated with him. "This isn't half as hard on you as it is on her!"

Bond followed the doctor to M"s room and hesitated for a moment before he opened the door.

"Is she comfortable?" he asked

"Reasonably"

"Thank you"

Bond cautiously opened the door and entered only to be greeted with a sight for which he was not quite prepared.

M suddenly looked so small, almost frail lying in the hospital bed with all sorts of machines hooked to her to monitor her every move. She had a bandage around her ankle and one across her forehead that covered the angry looking bruise that was beginning to form. Bond was surprised at how very pale she looked even against the white hospital sheets.

"Hey... How are you feeling?" he asked softly as he walked across the room to take a seat next to her bed.

She looked at him with a look of total bewilderment for a few moments before answering him.

"Mr. Bond?...This isn't a normal hospital is it?" she asked with a slight crack in her voice

"No" he said quietly "It is a special medical facility where you work" he said calmly so as not to upset her.

"All of these people keep calling me M. Is that my name?" she asked sounding slightly confused

He thought about that for a moment before he responded. The last thing he wanted to do was confuse her more.

"Well, no not exactly" he said reaching out to grasp her hand lightly, and to his surprise she didn't pull away from his touch."It's more of a title. You have a very important job with the government and all of these people work for you, so they refer to you by your title"

"I see" she said sounding just as confused as she was before.

"How long will I have to stay here?" she asked as the tears began to form in her eyes

That was all it took. Bond quickly gave her hand a light squeeze and stood up to leave.

"Give me a minute" he said sounding very determined " I'll be right back."

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3 Taking care of M

**I know, they're short chapters. But this way we get to see the softer side of James. Enjoy**

After a long and somewhat heated discussion with her doctor, James was finally able to secure M's release from medical but with some rather strict stipulations. She was not, under any circumstances, to be left alone.

"Well someone has to stay with her, Doctors orders" stated Tanner as he and Bond left the doctor's office on their way to M's room.

"Really?" said Bond clearly still irritated with Tanner

"Well I think you should stay with her, after all you're the one who found her"

"It's not a game of finders keepers Bill. This is M were talking about" he replied clearly not amused

"I know, but I can't stay with her. I have to be in the office early in the morning to orchestrate her little disappearing act." he said sounding a bit anxious.

"Yes, I know, and I'm depending on you. That's why I'm going to stay with her"

"We could call Eve?" said Tanner

"No. She doesn't know Eve right now. It would only frighten her more. I'm staying and that's final" said Bond Flatly

When they arrived at her room, M was sitting up on bed while the medical staff was disconnecting her from all of the equipment

"Well there...Are you almost ready to go young lady?" asked Bond as he stood at the foot of her bed

"Where are we going?" she asked cautiously

"I'm taking you home" he said "Tanner would you be so kind as to go get the car. We don't want to keep the lady waiting" he said with a slight smile

Tanner along with the rest of the medical staff disappeared out of the room leaving M and Bond alone.

"May I ask you a question Mr. Bond?" she asked hesitantly

"James...Please call me James" he said

"Alright then James, may I ask you a question?" she asked again

"Yes of course"

"How do I know you? I mean you're not my husband or you would have introduced yourself as such , you don't seem to be my son because you don't call me mum, and it would be ridiculous to think that you are my companion as I appear old enough to be your mother, so who are you to me and how is it you were at my flat when clearly you don't live there?"

"Well you could say that I'm a knight in shining armor rescuing a damsel In distress" he said with a wry smile

"Credit me with a bit of common sense. Memory or not I am not that gullible" she answered with a weak smile

"I suppose you're right. The truth is I work for you, but I suppose you could say that we are sort of friends as well" he said moving over to help her into the waiting wheelchair.

"And do friends always break into other friends flats?" she asked

"Well not generally, but in our case it's become a sort of tradition" he answered lightly squeezing her shoulder.

"And do I generally approve of this sort of behavior?" she asked turning to look up at him

"No, not as a general rule. In fact it usually irritates the hell out of you, but in this case it turned out to be a good thing all things considered" he said with a grin

"Yes, I suppose it did." she paused for a moment "But in the future I would refrain from such behavior if I were you or next time I'll have your head on a platter" she said almost matter of fact.

Her comment caught him off guard. She sounded almost like herself for a moment.

"M.. are you starting to remember?" he asked somewhat optimistically

"No. Not really." she replied " It just sounded like something I might say given what you said my position is here"

Tanner entered the room a few minutes later with a stack of papers in his hand.

"Are we ready to go" he asked as cheerfully as he could manage at this late hour

"Ready as we'll ever be" said James with a smile


	4. Chapter 4 Famous last words

**For RebaForever: Thanks to planning ahead for once this chapter didn't take as long to edit as I thought. :)**

The ride back to M's flat was largely uneventful as all three of them were nearly exhausted. When they finally arrived it came as no surprise to Bond or Tanner that M, being fiercely independent, would insist on negotiating the steps up to her front door on her own. It took quite a while but she finally managed to reach the top in one piece. Tanner already had the door open and was waiting, albeit impatiently for James to get M settled on the sofa before he left.

"Now Bond, here are the instructions from the doctor. I want you to promise me that you will read them carefully and follow them to the letter. Pin them on your forehead if necessary" he said sharply

"Bill, relax, I've got this" replied Bond

"I know, but this is important. You have to remember if she starts asking questions your answers must and I repeat must be vague"

"It seems a bit unfair don't you think?" said James

"It's for her own good. We have to be sure that if...no when she starts to remember that it's HER memories not what you've told her"

"I know it just seems a bit unfair is all"

"Also remember to wake her every hour or so and check her eyes to be sure one pupil isn't dilated and watch for signs of nausea and..."

James finally interrupted.

"Bill! Stop acting like a nervous Nelly for God's sake. I said I've got this. I know the drill. I promise I won't let anything happen to her" he said trying to be reassuring.

"And you've got my number right?"

"Etched on my brain" James said dryly "Now would you go already"

"Alright" he said heading towards the door

"Maybe I should stay?" he said turning around to face James "What if you.."

"Bill. GET OUT! You need to be in the office in about two hours. We'll be fine. What could possible go wrong?"

Famous last words. Now that Tanner was gone James was finally able to turn his attention to M who was sitting on the sofa with her hands folded in her lap staring blankly around the room at the furnishings. Everything looked so foreign to her.

"Hey...You alright?... would you like a drink" he asked as he started toward the liquor cabinet

"I don't know...Would I?" she answered quietly

"No I suppose not" he replied "How about some juice instead?" he asked

"No thank you" she answered

James was shocked by just how vulnerable she really was at this moment. This was a woman who always knew what she wanted, when she wanted it, she was tough as nails and wasn't afraid to prove it and yet she couldn't remember if she liked scotch.

"Tell you what. It's been a very long evening for both of us, perhaps we should get you upstairs and into bed"

M's eyes widened as a look of shear panic spread across her face but it quickly dissipated once she had thought about the statement for a moment.

"I suppose you're right" she finally said as she tried to stand up quickly losing her balance.

James caught her around the waist before she toppled over.

"Here, Let me help you" he said politely

"No I can manage" she said rather defiantly as she pulled away from him and headed toward the hallway. "Just exactly where is my bedroom?" she asked

"On the second floor, end of the hall" he said flatly as he followed along behind her.

"Oh" she said wearily as she stood at the bottom of the long staircase looking up.

"Here let me help you" said James as he attempted to pick her up

"What do you think you are doing? Put me down this instant!" she demanded

"M with all due respect unless you've grown a set of wings or have some magic fairy dust lying around it will take you until noon to get to the top by yourself, so I suggest you let me help you just this once" he said picking her up and marching up the stairs to her bedroom.

Once in her bedroom James deposited M on the bed and began searching thru her chest of drawers.

"What exactly are you looking for?" she asked trying to choke back tears

"Something for you to sleep in" he said gruffly

The minute he said it he was full of regret and the look of utter despair on M's face spoke volumes.

"I'm so sorry M" he said "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I'm not angry with you just the situation. It's just that you can be so damn obstinate sometimes. Please forgive me" he said as tenderly as he could.

"No. I'm sorry. You were only trying to help." she said wiping away a tear

"It's going to be alright." he said taking her hand "Tell you what why don't you hobble into the bathroom and get cleaned up while I find you something suitable to sleep in and then we'll tuck you in and maybe just maybe things will look better in the morning"

"Alright." she said as she got up to head toward the bathroom.

James did indeed finally find a suitable night dress after a bit of searching. And once M was tucked in for the evening or rather morning he turned to leave.

"James" said M hesitantly

"Yes M what is it?"

"You won't leave will you?"

"No of course not why do you ask?" he said sounding confused

"I just wanted wondered is all" she said through a small yawn

"I'll be right here if you need me, promise" he said as he gently pulled the covers up around her.

As M slowly drifted off to sleep, James found a pillow and a blanket and made a bed for himself on the floor beside her. This was one promise he intended to keep.


	5. Chapter 5 What is in a name

**Just love it when James is being parental.**

James alarm on his mobile went off about an hour and a half after he closed his eyes. "Right on schedule" he grumbled getting up to check on M. His face was a mere inches from hers when she opened her eyes to see him staring back at her.

"James! what do you think you are doing?" she said somewhat startled by him

"Just checking on you. Doctors orders" he said with a slight grin as he pulled back a bit to look at her

"How are you feeling?" he asked, the concern clearly showing in his tone

"To tell you the truth like I've been run over by a team of bloody horses. Everything hurts" she said wincing as she tried to sit up.

"Well that's to be expected I suppose" he replied leaning in closer to look into her eyes

"Now what are you doing?" She asked clearly annoyed

"Just checking your pupils" he said as he continued to stare at her

"For what may I ask?"

"Any unusual dilation, or at least that is what the instructions say" he said holding up the instructions Tanner had left with him.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked hesitantly

"Of course I do... You're the chap who broke into my flat, took me to the hospital that isn't really a hospital, brought me home and carried me up the stairs against my will last night." she said looking at him as if it were a stupid question.

"Yes, but do you remember anything else?" he asked

M thought about it for a minute before answering.

"No...Nothing before waking up to find you staring at me" she said sounding rather disappointed

"Well it's just going to take a little time I guess" he replied trying to sound optimistic

Just as he was about to continue the conversation he heard a phone ring. After working out that it wasn't his phone He quickly ran out of the room shouting "Stay put!" over his shoulder as he ran down the stairs to find the ringing phone. M, being M got up and, as quickly as one on crutches can, followed James as far as the top of the stairs.

"Who is it?" she yelled down to him

"Blocked call" he said sounding a bit out of breath

"What does that mean" she asked giving him a rather confused look

"It means that you should be in bed resting!" he said sounding a bit parental

"Well I decided that as long as I am up I might as well come downstairs" she said almost as an act of defiance

"And just how were you planning to do that without my help, were you planning to slide down the banister?" he answered rather flippantly

"I'll manage... I managed to get this far without your help didn't I." she said sounding almost insulted.

"Well you're not coming down here dressed like that!" he retorted as he quickly averted his gaze.

It was only then that M realized that in her rush to see who was on the phone, she had neglected to put on her dressing gown and was now standing at the top of the stairs in her rather short night dress.

"I see what you mean" she said blushing slightly "If I promise to dress properly then may I come down?" She asked almost sounding as if she were playing a game of Mother May I.

"If that's what you really want, but you WILL wait for me to help you down so we do not have a repeat of last night agreed."

"Fine" she said as she hobbled back to her bedroom to retrieve her dressing gown.

James was just getting M settled on the sofa when her phone began to ring again. James quickly picked it up, frowned when he looked at the screen and then deposited it in the first available drawer he could find.

"Why didn't you answer it?" she asked sounding rather puzzled

"I can't answer it , it's your private phone and you are obviously in no state to answer it, so I just let it ring" he said as he dialed his own phone

"Tanner...Bond here...No she's fine...Really she's fine all things considered...No she doesn't remember anything past last night...Yes every hour or so...listen I need you to contact Q and have him do something about her private phone. It keeps ringing...No I didn't answer it, do you think I'm a complete idiot. Look just take care of the phone will you? Thanks"

As James hung up he turned to find M staring at him with an expression he couldn't quite pin down.

"What's a Q?" she asked curiously

"Q is not a what, he's a who" he answered flatly

"Alright then Who is Q?" she asked again

"Q is the computer genius who works for you" he answered trying to be as vague as possible

"Oh, I see" she said shaking her head

"So let me get this straight, You are Bond/James/007 or at least that's what the doctor called you last night, I am M as in the letter M not the Name Emilie, He's Q, Does anyone have an actual name other than Mr. Tanner?" she asked "The next thing you will be telling me is that there is a Mr. X,Y and Z" she finished sounding a bit perplexed.

"No...At present there is only an M and a Q" he said trying not to laugh.

"As long as we are on the subject of names" she started "Would you please tell me my real name?" she asked quietly

"What's in a name" he answered trying to avoid the subject

"Well it may not seem like a lot but it's all I have and I would really like to know what it is if you don't mind" she said bluntly

"I would love to tell you but I can't you see because you once threatened to have me shot if I ever said it aloud" he said honestly

"Can I do that?" she asked sounding a bit surprised

"You can do that and a lot more" he said with a smile

"Now how about some breakfast?"

To be continued...


	6. Chapter 6 The morning after

**I thought it was time to see some of the "old" M coming thru. And Prosper I will think on your suggestion, It could be interesting:)**

After the breakfast dishes were taken care of James gently carried M back upstairs so she could get dressed.

"I know you would probably prefer a shower, but I don't think I am the best choice of assistants in that department, so I asked Eve to stop by after work and give you a hand if that's alright?" he said as he rummaged around in the wardrobe for something for her to wear.

"Who is Eve?" she asked sounding a bit worried

"Eve is your secretary. Don't worry, you'll like her, she's very fond of you and you of her. She asked about you earlier so I thought I could kill two birds with one stone so to speak, she could check up on you and you could get a shower." he said handing Her a white blouse

"No not this one" she said handing it back "Try the light blue one instead, it looks more comfortable"

"Skirt or trousers?" he asked exchanging blouses with her

"What?...Oh...trousers I suppose" she said quietly

"Right then...I'll leave you to it and Oh by the way in case you're interested your knickers are in the top drawer" he said with a slight grin

"And just how would you know?" she asked suspiciously

"I found them last night when I was searching for your night dress" he replied rather sheepishly

"I see... well then off you go. I'll call you when I am ready to come back down" she said as she hobbled off the bathroom.

It had been almost an hour and a half and M still hadn't called for him so James walked quietly up the stairs to check on her. He knocked lightly as he opened the door only to find M just sitting on the bed staring at her reflection in the mirror, her eyes glued to her arms and shoulder as she lightly ran her fingers over the scars.

"What happened to me?" she asked fighting back tears

"Well" he began "You were in as accident of sorts years ago while you were away on "business" he said softly as he knelt in front of her and grasped her hands.

"But so many scars on my arms and legs" she replied as she looked down at him

"I know, but that was a long time ago and aside from your current injuries you're fine now" he answered helping her pull her blouse on the rest of the way.

"You're not going to tell me are you?" she asked the frustration clearly showing in her voice.

"Well...No, not today..Doctors orders" he replied as he stood up

"Would you like to stay up here for a while and rest or would you like come back downstairs?" he asked as he hung up her dressing gown

"Well let's try the sofa. I could us a change of scenery" she said firmly as she stood up "But I think I'll try it on my own if you don't mind!"

"Well as a matter of fact I do mind! If anything happens to you Tanner will have my head!" James replied as he followed her out the door

"Then I suggest you make damn sure nothing happens Mr. Bond!" her sudden use of his formal name did not go unnoticed

"So it's Mr. Bond now is it?" he said as he went down the steps one at a time with her until they reached the bottom.

"There you see nothing happened!" she said coolly as she brushed past him toward the sitting room.

"Did I miss something?" he said sounding confused as he followed her into the sitting room

"What do you mean?" she said as she sat down

"Well a minute ago you were upset about the scars and then within seconds you were completely pissed off at me and I suddenly went from being James back to Mr. Bond, so I was just wondering what the hell I missed between kneeling at the foot of you bed and when I stood up?" he said sounding a little hurt.

"Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to have your whole life ripped away from you and to know that there are people around you who could tell you but refuse" She shouted "I look around at all these things you say are mine and have no recollection of them. I don't even know what drawer my knickers are in for Christ sake so don't stand there like a pampas ass and tell me I hurt your feelings"

"I'm sorry M but please try to understand that we're only doing this for your own good"

"My own good...I'm not a child!" she said sharply

"I know that"

"Then stop treating me like one"

"I'll go and make some tea" he said as he walked out of the room

She was about to crack and he could tell. And as a matter of fact he does know how she feels but he can't tell her that, not right now. He kept reading the list of instructions while he waited for the tea.

"Let's see dilated pupils...no, nausea...no, vomiting...no, mood swings...yep that one we've got in epic proportions."

When James finally returned with the tea he found M sitting on the sofa looking at a photograph album with tears streaming down her cheeks as she turned the pages.

"M, what is it? what's wrong?" he said as he sat down beside her

"I can't remember them" she said through her sobs "I have children and I don't remember them. I look at the pictures and I see them and who I assume is their father but I don't recognize them. What kind of mother doesn't know her own children?" she cried as she buried her face in her hands.

James closed the album and put in on the coffee table and put his arms around the now near inconsolable M and held her close and rocked her.

"Shhh... M it's going to be alright, You'll remember, It just takes time." he said softly

"I'm going to tell you something I think might help" he said pulling back so he could look into her tear-filled eyes

"What is that?" she said with a sniffle

"Olivia" was all he said


	7. Chapter 7 Guess who's coming to dinner

James just held and tried to console a heartbroken M for about an hour before she finally cried herself to sleep in his arms. He couldn't blame her for the mood swings, after all she's had a hell of a last twenty four hours and very little sleep, so putting it in that perspective she was doing remarkably well. Once he was sure she was sound asleep he gently picked her up and carried her upstairs to her bedroom and laid her on the bed. As he was about to leave M stirred a bit and called out to him.

"James" she said reaching for him

"Yes M what is it?" he said taking her hand and sitting beside her

"I'm so sorry for earlier" she said sleepily

"It's not your fault, You've been through a lot is all" he whispered

"I wanted to thank you"

"For what?" he said quietly

"For giving me back my name. I must have had a good reason to threaten to have you shot if you ever said it aloud, but I think I will forgive you just this one time." she said trying to manage a weak albeit sleepy smile

"My pleasure M" he said as he rose to leave

"James" she said again sounding almost panicked "You won't leave me will you?"

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise"

"Would you just lie here with me for a little while until I fall back to sleep?" she asked

He could see the tears beginning to form in her eyes again so he slowly climbed in beside her and cradling her in his arms the two of them fell asleep.

Several hours later James woke to the doorbell ringing and pounding on the door. M was still sleeping soundly in his arms and as much as he didn't want to disturb her he knew he had to get up and answer the door. As he made his way down the stairs he noticed that a step had come loose "I'll have to fix that later" he thought to himself as he continued heading for the door.

Tanner and Eve were waiting on the other side looking extremely worried as he opened the door.

"Bond!...What took you so long?" snapped Tanner as he walked past James with Eve close behind

"Christ Tanner! What were you trying to do wake the dead?" said James sounding rather annoyed

"Apparently...Where's M is she alright?" he asked scanning the empty sitting room

"Relax...She's fine. We were upstairs sleeping so keep it down would you as she is still asleep" replied James "Nice to see you Eve" he said turning to face her "I trust you two have everything under control at the office?"

"Yes. So far so good. No one has questioned M's absence yet" answered Eve

"Good. Let's keep it that way shall we" he said with a wink

"You said she's asleep?" questioned Tanner "You have been following the doctor's orders checking for all the things on the list I trust?"

"Yes I have and I can honestly say she has only had one little problem with the mood swings but let's face it she's exhausted so I don't consider it anything to worry about."

"How's her memory? any progress yet?" Tanner asked rather hesitantly

"About the same" replied James trying to conceal the disappointment in his voice.

"We've brought food in case you're interested" interjected Eve

"Great, I'm sure she will be hungry when she wakes up, I know I am"

Just then James heard M calling for him with panic in her voice. He bolted up the stairs to her room to find M looking back at him with a rather terrified look.

"M what is it?...What's wrong?" he asked rushing to her side and holding her close

"I heard voices I don't recognize, who is here?" she asked sounding alarmed

"It's ok M, it's just Bill Tanner and Eve, don't you remember I told you earlier that Eve would be stopping by?' he asked searching her face for some sort of comprehension

"Yes...I guess you did didn't you" she replied feeling a bit foolish

"Would you like come down and see them? They have brought us some dinner, and I'm sure you must be hungry?"

"Yes... of course " she said timidly

"Don't worry...I'll be right by your side" he said helping her up.

James helped M down the stairs and together, with M holding on the James for dear life, made their way into the sitting room to greet Tanner and Eve.

"Hello Ma'a...err M...How are you feeling?" asked Tanner tentatively

"Fine thank you" said M eyeing him cautiously

"M. This is Bill Tanner, he is your assistant, Do you remember him from last night?" said James watching her closely for any sign of recognition

M thought hard for a moment before nodding her head as confirmation that she had in fact remembered him.

"And this is Eve Moneypenny, your secretary" he said motioning to Eve

"Good evening M." said Eve with a warm smile

"Hello" replied M softly, maintaining her firm grip on James arm

"Eve" said James as he gently pealed M's hand from his arm "Why don't you and M sit and get reacquainted while Bill and I get dinner ready?"

James gently guided her to the sofa and placed a kiss on her forehead "Don't worry M..I'll just be in the kitchen if you need me"

M and Eve sat in companionable silence for a few minutes with M just staring at her hands.

"We don't have to talk if you don't want to" said Eve quietly

"It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I don't know what to talk about. You obviously know me but I have no memory of you and I'm sorry? said Me said apologetically

"Oh please don't be sorry M, it's not your fault" replied Eve trying to be supportive "I'm just here to help you in any way I can because I care about you. I'll tell you what. Why don't we Not concentrate on the past right now. Let's concentrate on the present and start fresh. Hello, My name is Eve Moneypenny, Nice to meet you" she said holding out her hand

"Thank you Eve. I'm... M nice to meet you" said M relaxing a little.

Meanwhile in the kitchen James and Bill were preparing the dinner that Bill and Eve had brought. Chinese take away one of her favorites or at least it was.

"James, how is she really?" asked Bill with a hint of concern in his voice

"Well...She's beginning to ask a lot of questions that I'm not quite sure how to answer to be quite honest"

"What do you mean?"

"She saw the scars on her arms and legs this morning and wanted to know what happened" replied James

"You didn't tell her did you?" said Bill the panic clearly evident in his voice

"No. I told her she had been injured while away on a "business" trip years ago" he answered quietly.

"What else has she been asking about?" asked Bill

"Just general things, like her name, who is Q, who are we to her, what is the nature of our relationship just things like that"

"I see...I've been meaning to ask you. Just how is it you were here last night? what exactly is the nature of your relationship with M?"

"It's not important right now" said James rather evasively

"You didn't think twice about it when I mentioned you should stay with her and when we arrived you said the two of you were upstairs sleeping?"

"M and I have a very complicated relationship and yes we were upstairs sleeping together only because she was very upset and didn't want to be alone that's it end of story!" replied James rather defensively

"I wasn't trying to pry I'm just concerned for her. This is no time to fall for the boss so do try to put aside your charm until she's recovered , I don't want to see her hurt any more than she already is!" said Bill as he carried the dishes thru the dining room.

"Believe me Bill...Hurting her is the last thing on my mind" replied James under his breath as he went to collect M and Eve.

"Dinner is ready."

**For RebaForever15 Don't worry M won't alway experience this much pain They say that which does not kill you makes you stronger.**


	8. Chapter 8 stolen memories

**Pay close attention, it's all starting to come together if you follow the clues :)**

Dinner went reasonably well all things considered. Some of the awkwardness had subsided and the conversation was kept to general topics. No talk of work or people associated with work which proved to be quite interesting as M tried her best to get any useful information about herself from them with not much success. Once they had finished M and Eve went upstairs so that Eve could help M take a much desired shower while James and Bill took care of the dishes.

"Look…Bond I want to apologize for what I said earlier. The nature of your relationship with M is really none of my business" said Bill as he finished loading the dishwasher.

"Apology accepted. I know you care about her, we all do and I just want you to know that I have no intention of trying to take advantage of her in this state or any other state for that matter" said James sincerely

"Right then…Oh you mentioned earlier that she was upset, what happened?" he asked out of both concern and curiosity

"She found one of her photo albums and she couldn't remember her children or her husband for that matter. She had no clue when or where the photos were taken…It was heartbreaking to see her crumble like that" James replied

"It doesn't surprise me really, the not remembering the photos I mean' said Bill almost matter of fact

"Oh Why is that?"

"It doesn't surprise me because M was an active agent at the time Paul and Joanna were born. She spent an enormous amount of time away. They were practically raised by David their father and a nanny, so you see she hasn't really lost the memories from the photos, she never had them to begin with." answered Bill

"I just wish we could tell her these things. It might make it a little easier for her" said James with a hint of sadness

"The other thing I meant to tell you is that although we agreed not to call her children until we knew more I had a call from Joanna today"

"Really? What did she want?" asked James curiously

'I'm not quite sure exactly. I was surprised because she and M are not particularly close. Any way during the course of the conversation I accidentally mentioned that M had had a slight accident"  
"You did what! Great now we have to deal with her children as well" said James angrily

"Not exactly" replied Bill

"What do you mean not exactly?" asked James suspiciously

"Well as I said Joanna and her mother don't really get on all that well, and judging by her reaction to the news that is the ultimate understatement" said Bill pausing to try to read James face. "According to Joanna unless she is on her death bed neither she nor Paul really have the "time" to take care of her right now so unless it is absolutely necessary they will not be coming anytime soon"

It wasn't really difficult to read James face at this point as it was easy to see the anger building inside him.

"So basically it's piss off it that what you're saying? They really don't care about their mother"

"That about sums it up" replied Bill

"We can't tell her. We just can't it, would destroy her to think that she's been feeling guilty about not remembering the ungrateful spoiled brats and they don't even give a damn about her" said James angrily

"For what it's worth I agree. As far as I'm concerned this is now a need to know situation and quite frankly they do not need to know!" replied Bill "So I guess it's up to the three of us now to help her thru this since she definitely doesn't have the support of her family" said Bill in more of a statement rather than a question

"You got it. Were her family now and we're going to be all the family she will ever need I can promise you that." Replied James sounding very determined.

Meanwhile up stairs the conversation was much more pleasant. M had just finished with her shower and she and Eve were discussing a much more interesting topic...James.

"So what do you think of James if you don't mind my asking" said Eve her eyes wide with curiosity

"I think he really is my knight in shining armor" said M with a slight smile

"What do you mean?" replied Eve as she narrowed her eyes a bit

"Well to be honest, I could have laid there for days if he hadn't come along and he has been so attentive, so protective and kind. I'm sure there must be a million other things he would rather be doing than keeping watch over me and yet here he is at my beck and call" she said blushing a little

"M... can I ask you a question? and I need you to be completely honest with me" Eve said in a slightly more serious tone

"Of course" replied M sounding a bit apprehensive

"M.. are you starting to develop feelings for James? I mean not that there is anything wrong with that but are you?" she asked

"To be honest I'm not sure what I feel. I just know that I feel safe and loved, well maybe that's not the right word but well maybe it is...Yes I'm sure it is I feel loved and protected and right now that means the world to me to know that I'm not alone. I don't think I could get through this without James or you and Bill for that matter. Right now the three of you are all I have and I want you to know how grateful I am for everything you have done for me." said M as she reached over to squeeze Eve's hand.

"M, we will all be for you, and I promise you will never be alone." replied Eve.

"Well it's getting late and I have to be in the office early in the morning so unless there is something else you would like me to help you with I'd best get going" said Eve as she rose to leave.

"No I think I can manage from here. Thank you Eve you've been a godsend. I'm not quite sure how this shower situation would have turned out it James had tried to help." replied M with a smirk.

"Would you like me to help you back down the stairs?"

"No I think I'll just stay here, It's been a hellish day and I'm a little tired."

"Alright...Well goodnight then. M... would it be alright if I stop by tomorrow to check on You?"

"Yes. I think I would like that"

Eve made her way back downstairs just as Bill was putting on his coat.

"Ready to go?" he said as he reached for her coat

"Yes. We have a busy day tomorrow" she replied

"Where's M" asked James looking around

"She decided to stay put. She's had her shower and is just waiting to be tucked in for the evening" said Eve with a mischievous smile.

"Alright then.. off you go you two, Wouldn't want to keep the lady waiting now would we?" he said winking back

As soon as they left James locked the door , shut off the lights and went upstairs to find a very tired M lying in bed.

"I heard a rumor that someone up here needs tucking in for the night?"he said with a grin

"Very funny James. I'm just tired is all" she replied trying to stifle a yawn

"Well then let's just call it an early night shall we" he said pulling the blankets up around her more securely.

"You don't have to go to bed as well if you don't want to" said M apologetically

"We've both had a very long day I think the rest will do us both good" he said as he reached for the pillow and blanket at the foot of the bed so that he could make a bed on the floor beside her.

"James... If I ask you to do something for me would you?" she asked tentatively

"Of course, Just name it" he said softly

"Would you mind terribly if you slept up here instead of the floor, I just don't want to be alone?"

"Not at all" he said tossed the pillow and blanket aside and climbed in beside her.

Once he was settled he reached over and put his arms around her and pulled her into a close protective embrace, his head resting on the top of hers.

"You will never be alone. I promise" he replied as she snuggled closer to him and they fell asleep.

Eve and Bill had a very different type of conversation on the way home.

"Did you get the chance to tell him about the call from Joanna?" asked Eve sounding a bit concerned as she already knew how the conversation with M's daughter had gone.

"Yes as a matter of fact and we are in complete agreement. As far as we're concerned we are her family now and it's up to the three of us to get her through this" said Bill firmly

"Well that may be a bit tricky" said Eve with a slight smile

"Why's that?" asked Bill turning to look at her "What are you smiling at?" he asked looking very puzzled

"Well it's just that I think M is starting to develop feelings for James judging by the way her face lights up when she talks about him" she said sounding rather matter of fact

"Oh that's just bloody great!" said Bill

"What do you mean" she replied slapping his arm playfully "I think it almost well cute" she said

"No it is definitely NOT cute" he replied sounding annoyed

"Why?"

"Because for one thing she's his boss, she's not exactly in her right mind at the moment and under ordinary circumstances she'd have him used for target practice for this type of behavior and.." he stopped mid sentence

"AND..." she prodded

"And, he's starting to develop feelings for her as well" he said sounding rather bewildered

"Oh this could be bad" replied Eve shaking her head


	9. Chapter 9 Poking acound

**Sorry this one is a little short but I had to break it up into 2 chapters or it would have been way to long.**

Poking around

M was the first to wake the next morning. She hadn't had a particularly restful night, but not for lack of trying. It seemed that every time she closed her eyes images kept flashing through her head, but they were never quite complete pictures, just fragments. Some of children, some of men with guns, some of hospitals and some of an office with a desk with a china bulldog. She couldn't put anything together and it was driving her mad. By the time five o'clock rolled around she had had enough and decided to get up. She didn't have the heart to wake James as he was sleeping so peacefully so she managed to untangle herself from him and make her way down to the sitting room carefully so as not to fall again.

Once she made it safely to the sitting room she turned on the small lamp on the desk and just looked around the room. "There's got to be something in this room that can shed some light on just who I am" she thought as her eyes quickly turned to the desk by the window. She made her way over to the desk and sat down. " Surely there is something in here" she said as she began opening drawers. "My God I'm organized" she thought as she began to rummage through the first drawer. Unfortunately it contained nothing useful to her except envelopes and stationary. She had finally reached the bottom drawer before she stumbled across a file marked "CONFIDENTIAL M'S EYES ONLY". At last she thought. " It may say confidential M's eyes only but I'm M" she thought to herself. As she opened the file most of it might as well have been written in Greek because it didn't make much sense. It was some sort of report about the relevance of her department and how its usefulness had run its course. There was also a note attached from someone named Gareth Mallory wanting to discuss some sort of "Early Retirement" options. "That'll be a cold day in hell" she thought. "I have to remember who I am before I can retire!" she muttered under her breath. The name at the bottom of the letter did make her stop for a moment though " Why do I know that name ?" she said to herself. She thought long and hard as the images started to flash through her head again. She couldn't see his face but she could clearly hear his voice telling her that they needed to discuss her exit from MI6. It began to dawn on her that MI6 was where she must work and given the cover of the file that said Confidential she must have a great deal of authority there. M heard James get up and quickly put the file back in the drawer and went to sit on the sofa, which is where James fond her when he burst into the room with a look of absolute panic across his face.

"M...What are you doing down here all by yourself? Are you alright?" he asked sounding both alarmed and concerned

"It's alright James, I'm fine I just couldn't sleep is all so I decided to come down here and see if anything looked remotely familiar." she said softly trying to calm him down a bit

"Why didn't you wake me to help you down the stairs, You know you shouldn't be doing that by yourself yet?" he replied sounding slightly annoyed

"James as I told you before I'm not a child. Besides coming down is the easy part, I just slid down the banister" she said with a grin

"You what!" he said almost shocked

"Oh do relax I'm only kidding, but in all seriousness, I didn't wake you because you were sleeping so peacefully I didn't think it was fair that we should both be up at this hour and I thought that if I could just sit here by myself I might stand a better chance of actually remembering something useful"

"Well did it work?" he asked

"Not really" she said sounding a bit disappointed.

"You know what would be nice though?" she said as she motioned for him to sit beside her

"What is that?" he asked

"Do you think it would be possible to meet Eve and Bill for lunch today?"

"I don't know, I suppose so why?" he asked trying not to sound suspicious

"I just thought it might help if I could get out of this house for a little while, you know see something different like maybe this office you three keep talking about. I mean it's obvious that I work there so I thought maybe something there might jog my memory a bit." she said hoping that he would agree

"Well I don't know, I don't think it such a good idea at least not yet" he said trying to put her off the idea

"Well of course it's a good idea! It's my idea so please try your best to make it happen" she retorted with a bit of mock irritation.

"Alright if that's what you really want then I will do my best to make it happen" he replied with a bit of apprehension in his voice.

"Good. Now that that' settled how about we go about the business of getting some breakfast, I'm starving" she said as she got up and headed toward the kitchen

"How is it that she always manages to get her own way?" he muttered under his breath as he followed her thru to the kitchen. "Guess that's why she's the head of MI6"


	10. Chapter 10 Fixing the step

**For RebaForever15. Thank you for the support. I know I'm supposed to be resting but I couldn't sleep so I decided to finish this chapter. Hope you like. For Prosper. It's back to the Malloy you know and love/hate.**

James and M spent the rest of the morning doing rather boring domestic things like laundry, dishes and James even took a stab at carpentry by fixing the loose step, much to the annoyance of M, who had gone upstairs to rest.

"James!" shouted M over the loud banging

"Yeah, what is it?" he shouted back as he continued to bang away

"Just exactly what do you think you are doing?" she said sounding a bit annoyed

"Fixing a step" he said

"Well is it at all possible that you could try to do that without so much banging?" she yelled back at him

"Well I could try but it wouldn't be very effective since the nail won't just go in there by itself, besides I'm almost finished" he replied sarcastically as he started up with the banging again

When he finished he came up to check on the very unimpressed M who just glared at him as he entered the room.

"Are you absolutely sure you were just fixing one step?" she asked sternly

"Yes, why?"

"Because it sounded as if you were building an entire staircase" replied M

"Well, if it makes you feel any better I know how you tumbled down the stairs" he said with a rather smug smile

"Oh "she said arching her eyebrow "and are you going to share this information with me or you just going to keep it to yourself?"

"Well that all depends" he replied

"On what"

"On how nicely you ask"

"Fine" she said rolling her eyes "I'm sorry for being so ratty with you, now just why did I tumble down the stairs?" she asked with a rather fake smile

"You fell because the step was loose and if you stepped just right it would pull away, thus causing you to fall" he replied sounding rather proud of himself.

"Well if that's the case then why didn't I fall sooner?" she asked just waiting to hear his explanation

"I guess you just got lucky" he said with a grin

"Well good, now that that little project is finished have you worked out the other project I asked you about?"

"And just what project might that be?" he asked. He had hoped that she had forgotten about it but unfortunately she had not.

"You know very well what I'm talking about, don't play stupid with me it doesn't suit you" she replied rather irritated

"Oh that project" he answered "Yes well I spoke to Eve earlier and we decided on dinner rather than lunch"

"Why" she asked sounding surprised

"Well it seems that the doctor has requested your presence so that he may check up on your progress and it seems pointless to make two trips" he answered again hoping she wouldn't press him for any more details.

"I see" she said narrowing her eyes as if she didn't quite believe his answer

"You see what?" he asked sounding rather suspicious

"You just don't want me running into anyone do you?"

"No that's not it at all" he said defensively "I just don't want you to overdo and tire yourself out is all" he said hoping she would believe his explanation.

Meanwhile back at the office Bill and Eve had their hands full dodging the endless phone calls from one Garreth Mallory insisting that he see M on a matter of great importance.

Bill entered Eve's office to find her on the phone again with a rather disgruntled look on her face.

"Yes Mr. Mallory I understand that you wish to speak with M, however, as I have already explained she was called away on family business and I have no idea when she is due back...Yes I will tell her the minute she returns... Yes thank you sir" and with that she hung up the phone

"Who was that?" asked Bill as if he didn't already know the answer

"That was Garreth Mallory for the third time today. What part of she's not in the office today does he not understand?" she said angrily

"Well he's persistent, I'll give him that" said Bill with a slight grin

"He's a bloody pain in the ass is what he is!"

"That being said, anything else I should know about?" he asked as he thumbed thru the daily mail

"Oh there is one thing. James called earlier and it seems that M is suffering from an acute case of cabin fever and curiosity" she said with a smile

"What do you mean?"

"Well apparently M would like to come to the office..." Bill cut her off mid sentence

"What!"

"Let me finish. M thinks it would help her if she could see the office. She thinks it may help jog her memory if she could see where she works."

"Do you think that's a good idea? I mean what if she runs into someone and they start asking her a lot of questions?"

"According to James and I quote "Of course it's a good idea, it's my idea so make it happen" end quote"

"Oh bloody hell, Just how does he expect us to pull this one off with any sort of success?"

"I already have that covered." replied Eve with a sly grin "It seems that the doctor wants to see M to check her over and since it has to be after hours for obvious reasons there is no reason we couldn't bring her up the private lift. No one will ever know she's in the building let alone her office." Eve leaned back in her chair with her arms folded looking rather smug.

"You know that just may work" he said sounding impressed with the idea

"James also mentioned something about having dinner after, if that's alright with you. It seems M rather likes our company"

"Yes that sounds like a great idea. I really enjoyed dinner last night with them. I was amazed at how relaxed and happy M seemed to be. So what time is the appointment?"

"Seven o'clock, why?"

"That gives me just enough time to tidy up her office. She may" BE" M but she's not entirely M at the moment and we wouldn't want to divulge any state secrets" he said with a bit of a nervous laugh.

"Alright then off you go. See you down in medical around seven" she said as she turned her attention back to her desk.


	11. Chapter 11 Doctors, dinner and dumb luck

**For RebaForever15. I got that sudden burst of energy. And for Prosper first I had to break thi up into 2 chapters which you will see why when you read the next chapter and second I'm sorry no "Accidents" but I think you will like the alternative :)**

James and M had a relatively quiet afternoon with James dozing off and on and M sitting in her armchair attempting to read a book, which failed miserably to hold her attention for any length of time. She kept finding herself staring off into space which is how James found her when he woke up.

"M" he said quietly with no response

"M" he said a little louder. still no response

"Olivia!" he finally said in a rather loud tone

"What.." she replied rather startled

"Where were you?" he asked sounding concerned as he sat up

"Oh everywhere and nowhere I suppose." she answered quietly

"Did you just call me what I think you just called me?" she asked narrowing her eyes

"Yes, why?"

"I said I would forgive you just once for using my name. Don't press your luck!" she said flatly

"Well I'm sorry but it was the only way I could get your attention" he replied defensively

"Just don't let it happen again"

"Yes ma'am" he replied

"We should be getting ready if we are to meet Eve and Bill" said James as he sat up

"Why..what time is it" she asked as she put her book down

"It's five forty five so that should give us just about enough time" he replied

"Time for what?" she inquired sounding suspicious

"Time to get in the building without being noticed" he said with a wink

"Still afraid I'll see someone who knows me are you?" she said sarcastically

"No it's just that you're supposed to be away on some urgent family business and we don't want to raise any suspicions being that you rarely take any time off" he said rather serious.

"Oh I  
see...Well then let's get ready." she said heading for the stairs

The ride to headquarters was fairly uneventful. M looked out the window as James drove, and although nothing really caught her eye, it all seemed oddly familiar as though she had done this before. "Of course it's familiar" she thought to herself" I've probably done this at least thousand times before" As they drove across the bridge she was finally able the see Vauxhall. She recognized it right away as the building she had been taken to the night of her fall, but there was something strangely familiar about the building, but she couldn't quite pin it down. She kept shaking her head trying to remember as they pulled around to the back of the building where the medical department was located

"Hey...are you ok?" asked James as he had been watching her on the drive in

"Just a little nervous, but I'll be fine as long as I have you and Eve and Bill" she replied

"Well in that case you have nothing to worry about because we are not about to let anything happen to you" he said flashing her a confident smile that made her feel a bit more at ease

"I know" she replied giving his hand a light squeeze.

Once they arrived Bill and Eve met them at the door and quickly ushered them to a private room in the medical ward to wait for the doctor.

"So how was your day" asked Eve as she and M sat patiently on the sofa

"Well uneventful to be quite truthful. I rested as instructed while James built a staircase" she said with a slight laugh

"He did what?" asked Eve with a rather quizzical expression

"Well actually all he did was fix a step but it sounded more like he was building an entire staircase judging from all the noise"

"'I already explained to you that fixing the step was very tricky business!" interjected James with a hint of mock irritation

"Alright you two" said Bill trying to conceal a laugh "You're starting to sound like an old married couple and you've only been together for all of 2 days"

Just then a nurse came to collect M leaving Eve, James and Bill alone.

"So how is she really" asked Bill with concern

"She's basically fine physically. She's getting around without the crutches as much as I don't like it and she doesn't seem to be in any real pain" replied James

"But what about her memory? anything yet?"asked Eve

"Well that's the thing. If she is remembering anything she's not saying, not that I'm surprised. M has always been a private person but if I had to guess I would say that there is something going on in her head just by the way she will stop and look at things or she will start to say something and cut herself off mid sentence."

"But why wouldn't she say something if she remembered" asked Eve sounding rather puzzled

"Fear" replied James

"Fear of what?"

"Fear of being wrong, fear of losing the only security she has at the moment."

"I see" said Bill

Before they could continue their conversation M returned with the doctor, minus the crutches and with a fairly clean bill of health.

"So doc how is she?" asked James sounding rather anxious

"You will be happy to know that physically she is doing very well. No need for the crutches as long as she takes it easy and her forehead is healing nicely. She's very lucky that the cut was superficial and just along the hairline so there should be no visible scarring"

"That's good" said Eve smiling at M

"What about her memory?" asked James and Bill almost simultaneously

"As I told you the other night these things just take time." replied the doctor

"So in your opinion is it a good idea to take her to see her office?" asked James rather bluntly silently hoping the doctor would say no.

"I don't see any reason not to as long as she is feeling up to it" he said rather matter of fact

"I see. Thank you Doctor" said James still feeling a bit apprehensive.

After the doctor left Bill, Eve and James kept exchanging nervous glances before M finally broke the silence.

"Well you heard what the doctor said. There is no reason why I can't see my office so what are we waiting for?"she asked rather impatiently

"Are you sure, I mean really sure you want to do this?" asked James

"Of course I'm sure. Which way to the lift?" she asked as she headed toward the door

The walk to the private lift was more like a tactical exercise that a leisurely walk with James on point, Eve escorting M, and Bill bringing up the rear all in an attempt to be sure they were not seen. Once in the lift it was a short ride to the top floor where they quickly exited and headed for the office. The outer office was nothing special. A window, a desk a coat rack some chairs and a door. None of it seemed to have any effect on M's memory and to be quite honest it didn't look the least bit familiar to her. As they stood outside the door James asked M again

"Are you sure you're ready for this" his voice full of anxiety all sorts of what if's running thru his brain. What if she doesn't remember anything What if she remembers everything, what if it's too much for her...what if ...what if...what if

"Yes" she said with an air of confidence as she gently squeezed his arm

As James opened the door M just stood in the doorway for a moment.

"I would like to go in alone for minute if that's alright" she said quietly

As much as they didn't like the idea James, Eve and Bill waited outside while she went in alone.

When she entered the office she saw a large glass top desk, some chairs, large windows looking out over the Themes, but nothing that really stood out until she saw a china dog on the corner of the desk. "I've seen you before my little friend" she said to herself as she walked around to sit behind her desk. She began to leaf thru some of the papers on the desk as James entered quietly.

"Everything alright?" he asked watching her closely for any sign of recognition

"I'm fine James" she replied not looking up "I would like a glass of water if it's not too much trouble"

"Of course. I'll be right back" said James

Just as he opened the door he was nearly knocked over by Garreth Mallory .

"007...What are you doing here?" he said sounding annoyed

"I was just..." James started to say but was cut off

"Never mind. I need a few moments with M if you don't mind!" he said firmly

"Sir I'm not sure this is the best time"  
"I didn't ask for your opinion 007. Now if you don't mind!" he said motioning to the door

James had no other choice than to leave which he did casting a worried look at M. Strangely she appeared to be very calm

"M. How nice of you to grace us with your presence" was all James, Eve and Bill heard as the door shut

"What is he doing here!" said James angrily

"I don't know" replied Eve

"Well how did he know she was here!"

" Dumb luck I suppose. He claims he saw the light on in the office" snapped Bill

"What do we do now?" asked Eve who was clearly worried

"The only thing we can do" snapped James "We wait!"


	12. Chapter 12 Clash of the titans

**Prosper, This one is just for you. Hope you like it:) **

Clash of the titans

Garreth Mallory just stood glaring at M as she sat behind her desk looking back at him with an icy stare.

"Good evening M. Nice to see you." he said in a rather cool tone

"I've tried for several days to reach you but for some reason I keep being put off with one excuse after another by a certain impertinent secretary and a certain assistant."

"Whatever my staff has told you they have done so at my request and you do not have the authority to question them." she replied firmly

"I should like to inform you that such behavior will not be tolerated." he retorted clearly angry

M stood up and came around to lean on the front of her desk.

"Just who the hell do you think you are bursting into what I presume is still my office and ordering my staff about as if they were schoolchildren?" she demanded

"In case you have forgotten I am the Chairman of the Security and Intelligence Committee and you report to me" he snapped

"No I have not forgotten. Just what is so bloody important that you could not wait until my return " she snapped

"We need to discuss the file I gave you on the situation in Singapore as well as the other issue at hand!" he said sharply

M just stared at him blankly as she had literally no idea what he was going on about.

"You did read the report didn't you " he asked raising his eyebrow

"Why don't you enlighten me as the specifics of the report since you are so keen to discuss them" she answered rather tersely

"Then I can assume from your answer you have not read the file" he replied sounding annoyed

"Then you assume wrong. I am just not in the mood to discuss the details at this particular time." she said flatly "I can only assume that the other issue you are referring to has something to do with my "Voluntary " retirement am I correct?" she asked rather matter of fact

"Yes. we need to settle the details so the transition can be as smooth as possible" he replied

That last statement was all the information M needed to know that this was the Garreth Mallory whose name appeared on the bottom of the note in the file she had found in her desk drawer.

"Mr. Mallory, I'm sure you were given a perfectly reasonable explanation as to my absence in the office for the last few days were you not?" she asked bluntly

"Yes, something about an urgent family matter. Why?" he asked narrowing his eyes

"As a matter of fact I have suffered a rather traumatic loss in my family, and I have no intention of discussing anything at this particular time so if you will excuse me I will be leaving. I will contact you upon my return, then and only then will we continue this discussion, have I made myself perfectly clear?" she said glaring at him

"Crystal Ma'am" he said sharply

James stood with his ear pressed against the door trying to hear just what was going in M's office while Bill paced about the small space rubbing his forehead and Eve just sat at her desk almost beside herself with worry.

"They've been in there a long time" said Eve nervously as she looked back and forth between James and Bill.

"We've got to find some way to get her out of there" said Bill shaking his head

"I'm going in there" said James sounding very determined

"You can't just go barging in there" said Bill grabbing James arm

"She's in over her head" said James as he opened the door slowly

"Ma'am the car is waiting downstairs if you are ready to go" said James as he went to stand beside M.

"007... Just exactly what are you doing here? shouldn't you be an assignment?" asked Mallory suspiciously as he turned to face him

"As a matter of fact he is on assignment. He is escorting me while I deal with this family matter" replied M sharply

"Since when do agents with a double O status do service as escorts?" asked Mallory curiously

"He is my bloody agent and I require both his assistance and protection if I am to be out of the office for an extended amount of time!" she retorted angrily

"I think you have all the protection you need with that secretary and assistant of yours" he said smugly as he looked at Eve and Bill who were standing in the doorway.

"Mr. Mallory, Let me remind you that they are MY staff. Whatever they do, they do on MY behalf or at MY request and I will not have you or anyone else second guessing my decisions, and as for 007, I don't give a shit what you think he is MY bloody agent and if I say he is needed than he is needed, is that clear!"

"Yes Ma'am" was all he could say

"Then goodnight Mr. Mallory, Please see yourself out!" she said motioning toward the door

Mallory turned and left without saying a word. James, Bill and Eve all stared at M with their mouths open in a state of both shock and awe at the scene they had just witnessed.

"And you said she was in over her head" said Bill as he closed the door

"M" said James as he rushed to her side "Are you alright" he asked as he put his arm around her and led her to the chair near the window.

"Yes I think so" she said sitting down slowly

"M... Do you know who that was?"asked James as he searched her face for what he didn't exactly know

"Yes. That was Garreth Mallory and he is a first class twit" she said bluntly

"Well then" she said looking at the three of them "I believe someone said something about dinner?"


	13. Chapter 13 Lucky Guess

**For RebaForever15, You know I just couldn't let the inappropriate feelings thing get in the way hehe**

James, Bill and Eve were still in a bit of shock as they left to office with M. They still couldn't believe what they had witnessed. M who has no useful memory at the moment dressing down Garreth Mallory as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

After a nice dinner the four returned to M's flat for a drink to be followed by a series of questions about the evening's events. There were just some questions that needed answers. As M and Eve sat on the sofa, James and Bill were pacing around the room each trying to decide which question to ask first.

"M" said James "How did you do it?"

"Do what?" replied M with a slight smile

"How did you manage to deal with Mallory when you didn't even know who he was" interjected Bill

"M... Did you suddenly remember him?' asked Eve

"I have to admit" said Bill with a slight laugh "It was nice to see the Evil Queen of Numbers make an appearance with regards to Mallory...No offence intended M"

"Evil Queen of Numbers?" replied M sounding a bit confused

"Just a term of endearment, I swear" said Bill with a genuine smile

"And the way you defended us, It's as if you actually cared about us" said Eve

"Of course I care about you" said M sounding a bit hurt by Eve's statement

"Sorry M...that come out wrong. We know you care about us, it's just that before this you never would have been so openly emotional in front of anyone." replied Eve somewhat apologetic

"I see"

"M you remembered something when you were in the office didn't you" said James

"No not exactly" said M rather evasively

"What do you mean not exactly" asked James inquisitively "How is it you knew who Mallory was? Him of all people"

"Lucky guess" she said jokingly

"Lucky guess my arse you knew who he was didn't you" replied James with a hint of suspicion in his voice

"Alright yes I knew who he was, but not because of his face but more his name" she said getting up from the sofa and going to retrieve the file in her bottom desk drawer

"I found this in the drawer this morning. Most of it makes absolutely no sense to me, but the name I remembered" she said handing the folder to James

"So that's what you were doing up so early this morning. You were poking around" he said as it now all made perfect sense to him.

"I wasn't lying about not being able to sleep, so as long as I was up, I decided to see what I could find and to be quite honest there's really not a lot here, that's when I came across this" she said

"So I guess you have been able to determine who you are from this" said Bill as he took the folder from James

"Not quite. I still have a lot of questions but at least I know that I am the head of MI6 so that's a start" she replied as she tried her best to conceal a small yawn

"Well I think someone has had an awfully busy day" said Eve as she got up. "Bill I think we should go and let the "Boss" get some rest"

"Oh you don't have to go I'm fine really" protested M

"No, she's right. You need your rest so we will get going." said Bill as he headed toward the door

"M. They're right. You have had one hell of a long day and a lot to digest. If you behave maybe they can come and play with you tomorrow" he said with a laugh

"Fine" she said pouting just a little

After Bill and Eve left M went upstairs to get ready for bed as James finished clearing away the glasses. "I wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't lost my memory" she thought as she sat on the edge of the bed. "Would they have still wanted to spend time with me or would it have just been business as usual" she thought. James came up the stairs and just stood in the doorway watching her for a few moments as she seemed lost in her own little world again.

"Hey…I thought you were going to get ready for bed" he said leaning against the door jam.

"I was, I mean I am why?' she asked sounding a bit confused

"Well I believe it would go much faster if you actually put your night dress on instead of holding it in your hand is all" he replied flashing her an playful grin

"I suppose you're right" she said as she got up to go to the bathroom to change

"Are you sure you're alright" he said the concern returning to his voice

"Yes why do you ask?"

"I don't know you just seem particularly quiet is all"

"Just have a lot on my mind I guess" she replied as she returned and got into bed

"Look. If you don't want to talk about it right now I understand" he said as he sat down beside her.

The look she gave him was one of both great sadness and confusion.

"Did you really think that I didn't care about the three of you before all of this?" she asked in all seriousness

James was surprised by her question. He always knew she cared she just wasn't able to display her emotions like most people, given her position. It would be considered unprofessional to let your feelings get in the way in their line of work, and she was anything but unprofessional.

"Slide over" he said as he moved to sit next to her with his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer to him.

"If there is one thing I know for certain it is that you care very deeply for those around you even if it isn't always possible for you to tell the so at the time" he said tilting her chin up so he could look into her eyes. "You have an enormous heart and you place a great deal of value on loyalty and friendship. You proved that tonight with Mallory. You stood up to him in defense of your friends like a mother bear with her cubs" he said with a smile. "So the answer to your question is no, we never doubted for a second whether you cared for us, it was just nice to be able to see you express those feelings for a change instead of having to keep them all bottled up."

"So what exactly are we supposed to do with these feelings we shouldn't have or display" she said as she snuggled closer to him "I mean really, before all of this happened I wouldn't have dreamt of inviting Bill and Eve or you for that matter here would I, and I certainly wouldn't have let you stay here let alone sleep my room would I?" she asked sounding confused

"No probably not" he said quietly

"It's a hell of a business were in isn't it" she said rather matter of fact. "We're supposed to care about everyone and no one all at the same time, but what happens when the lines get blurred"

"Well for me the lines have never been blurred as far as you are concerned. You are the one person I have always and I mean Always been able to count on to protect me when needed, defend me even if I didn't deserve it and kick my arse when necessary. I have always cared about you it just took a little tumble down the stairs to make me realize just how much." He said softly

"You had better be careful James that sounds an awful lot like those inappropriate feelings we're not supposed to have" she said sitting up to look at him

"Then I guess it's lucky for me that you don't remember the rules isn't it" he said as he leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips.


	14. Chapter 14 Stale mate

**Sorry guys not a lot of dialog in this chapter but i felt there were a few things that needed to be explained. Hope you like it **

The evening wasn't particularly restful for M. She didn't mind the fact that James had what amounted to a death grip on her most of the night, that had actually been a great source of comfort, No it was the constant replaying of the events that took place in her office earlier in the evening that kept invading her thoughts. It was all coming back to her. She had had a similar conversation with Mallory a few days earlier which had ended very much the same way, a stale mate. He wanted her to voluntarily retire and she had no intention of granting his wish.

Other past conversations kept creeping in as well. Conversations about different missions, other mundane tasks that all needed her undivided attention and one particularly heated discussion with a certain 00 who just happened to be sleeping with her. His last mission had been to Singapore and had gone horribly wrong in the eyes of the Chairman of the Security and Intelligence Committee, and it was her task to discipline him accordingly. The argument ended with her threatening to revoke his double 0 status and him angrily defending his decisions. That particular argument took place the night of her accident to the best of her knowledge. She remembered quite clearly coming home in a right foul mood, hastily drinking a large scotch, and kicking off her shoes when her phone rang. It was Mallory. "What the bloody hell does he want" she remembered thinking as she answered the phone. She remembered that he had insisted on an early morning meeting to discuss the Singapore situation and her retirement for the umpteenth time. She remembered hanging up on him, then slamming the phone down on the table and starting up the stairs when the phone rang again. She remembered turning quickly on the step and whether it was the scotch or just being in her stocking feet on the slippery step she didn't know which, she lost her balance. That was all she remembered.

She had to laugh a little. She hadn't fallen because of the loose step at all, and yet James had spent so much time fixing it for her, she was truly touched by his concern for her safety.

She could only assume that James had broken into her flat that evening hoping to arrive before her so they could have their usual discussion after his mission and he could explain in greater detail just exactly what happened so that she would have a better chance of defending him like she always did. Instead of arriving before her, he found her at the bottom of the stairs in a crumpled, bloody heap. Gone was the memory of the frustrating day and the heated words they had exchanged with one another. All that was left was the fear and pain he saw in her eyes and the pain he felt when she didn't recognize him. Also gone were all of the constraints that kept them apart. As long as she couldn't remember, the rules didn't apply.

She didn't ever think in her wildest dreams that it could be possible for her to fall in love with him or him with her, and yet here he was, sleeping beside her, protecting her, defending her and loving her and she was not ready to give that up, not just yet. She also didn't realize what it meant to be loved by her closest friends who just happened to be her employees. She had never allowed herself to really get to know them and now that she had she truly understood what the term "Family" meant. Family doesn't have to be strictly blood relations. She knew that she had once had a husband and that she had children, but they never had this kind of loving and caring relationship. She couldn't blame her children for not wanting to be near her. She never had the chance to be a proper mother to them so it was only natural for them to stay away. It was no one's fault. Her family life had been a casualty of her career.

"No" she thought to herself. "I'm not ready to let go. Not just yet." She knew she would eventually have to tell James and Eve and Bill that she was starting to remember, but for the time being she was just going to take it one day at a time and enjoy the love and friendship of her "New" family as long as she could, because once the truth came out it would be back to business as usual and she was not ready.

Once M had made her decision to keep quiet about her memory for the time being she seemed to relax a bit curling up closer to James and resting her head on his shoulder. He stirred slightly as he opened his eyes to look at her.

"Hey" he said quietly as he placed a soft kiss to her forehead "Are you alright?"

"Never better" she said flashing him a radiant smile as she shifted up a bit and pulled him into a gentle kiss. "Never better"


	15. Chapter 15 Fairytales

** for RebaForever15. Just some cute bedroom banter ala the Wizard Of OZ.**

James woke first to fine M curled up beside him with her arm draped across his chest. As he looked down at her he was immediately struck by how incredibly beautiful she was. She looked so peaceful almost like Sleeping Beauty and he thought to himself "Sleeping Beauty is awakened by Prince Charming with kisses" as a mischievous smile formed across his lips. "Why not give it a try" so he leaned down and gently placed a kiss on her lips. At first she seemed startled but then quickly responded by pulling him close to deepen the kiss.

"Good morning beautiful he said as he broke the kiss "Sleep well?"

"Never better" she replied with a slight grin "And you?"

His response was to pull her closer and kiss the top of her head as he replied "Never better indeed"

"Why did you call me beautiful? I am anything but beautiful first thing in the morning" she said sounding a bit perplexed.

"Because I think you are amazingly beautiful first thing in the morning, but then I also think you are supremely beautiful when you are angry"

"Oh, really!" she replied

"Why else do you think I enjoy winding you up so much? It isn't hearing how many decibels you can hit, it's the way your eyes seem to come to life and almost dance, it's really quite amazing and beautiful" he said with a devilish grin.

"Honestly James sometimes..."

"Which by the way leads me to my next point, Did I tell you how absolutely brilliant you were yesterday with Mallory?"

"No why? What made it so bloody brilliant?" she asked curiously

"The way you handled him and the excuse about tragically losing a member of your family, it was just...Well it was just bloody brilliant" he said sounding almost amazed at her ability to think that quickly "So who was the member of the family" he asked teasingly

"Well if you must know it is my memory" she said rather lightheartedly

"Your memory?"

"Yes my memory, you see it holds the key to my life, family included, losing it has been rather tragic to say the least so I wasn't exactly lying when I said I've lost a family member" she replied smugly

"Oh I see" he said with a laugh "Fair enough"

" So what would you like to do today?" he asked

"I suppose staying in bed all day is out of the question" she replied jokingly

"I don't see why, that is unless you have managed to fill up your calendar without my knowledge"

"No not really" she said almost sounding a bit depressed

"Hey, what's wrong"

"Oh it's nothing really just that I feel a bit like Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ" she said

"Why is that?"he asked sounding intrigued by her analogy

"Well you know the whole bump on the head, memory loss thing, then there's the not recognizing the people I see every day, all that's missing are the flying monkeys and my life would be complete" she said with a slight laugh

"So let me get this straight" said James as he tried his best not to laugh or giggle "If you're Dorothy than who are the Lion, The Tin Man and The Scarecrow?"

"I guess Bill would be the Lion as he has the courage as long as there is someone else along to point it out, and Eve would be the Tin Man as she has such a big heart and would do anything for anyone so I guess that makes you the Scarecrow, you know the brains of the whole operation" she said smiling up at him.

"Oh really the Scarecrow?' he said with a wide grin

"Yes" she replied slyly "I've personally always thought he had a thing for Dorothy" she finished with a wink

"Well in this case you are absolutely correct, He does very much" he said as he leaned in to kiss her "So who would be the Wicked Witch as it I have to ask" he said

"Certainly not Mallory, He's more the flying monkey type" she said with a laugh

"I suppose we should get up" she said as she began the process of untangling herself from both James and the sheets.

"If we must." replied James rather unhappily "Say do you fancy a drive in the country? The fresh air might do you some good"

"Yes, that sounds lovely" she said as she made her way to the bathroom for a shower

"Right then" he said as he got up. "I'll make the arrangements"


	16. Chapter 16 007 Reporting for Duty

**For RebaForever15 and Prosper the XVIII hope this meets with your approval hehe Yeah I know inside joke.**

After breakfast M went upstairs to dress as James went looking for a picnic hamper which was nowhere to be found. Not surprising to James as he had never seen M take a day off much less go on a picnic.

"Hey M" James called up the stairs "Do you happen to have a picnic hamper?"

"A what?" she said sounding a bit puzzled

"You know, a picnic hamper. The thing you put food in when you go on a picnic"

"Now that's a rather stupid question" she answered as she made her way back down the stairs

"What makes you think I would know the answer to that?"

"Just hoping, So I guess the answer is No" he replied flatly

"I honestly don't know and even if I did have one, I wouldn't know where to begin to look"

"No matter I'll think of something else" he said as he continued to flit around the kitchen

Just as he was about to put what was to be their lunch in a bag his phone rang.

"Now who could that be?" said M sounding a bit annoyed

"Don't worry I'll get rid of whoever it is" he said as he answered

"Bond..."

"James we have a problem" said Bill who was on the other end of the phone

"What seems to be the problem?"

"Well it seems that you have been called in for an assignment" replied Bill in a rather frustrated tone.

"Well who the hell ordered that, Technically I am already on assignment according to M, who by the way is my boss!" he said angrily

"Well according to Her Boss that order has been rescinded and you are to report for duty immediately"

"And just who the bloody hell issued that asinine order dare I ask"

"Three guesses and the first two don't count"

"Well I refuse to report, I can't leave M alone, she's not ready to be on her own!" said James clearly furious by this point

M, who had been eavesdropping finally interrupted

"James, what is it? What's wrong" worry quickly spread across her face

"Some damn fool, namely Mallory has decided that you do not require my assistance and has called me for an assignment!" he said

"I see" she said sounding rather displeased with the news

"Don't worry, I'm not going. He can fire me for all I care, but I'm not leaving you!"

"James, calm down. If he's called you than you have to go, you have no choice. Don't you see, this isn't about you. He's challenging my authority in my absence. Clearly he did not appreciate his being dressed down and he is taking it out on you. It's a power play, nothing more." she replied tersely

"I will not..."

"You're going and that is final!" said M "Tell Bill you will be there shortly!"

"Bill, according to M, I will be there shortly, but we need to do something about the situation here" he said clearly upset

"I've already spoken to Eve, She will be taking the rest of the day off due to illness. She is going to stay with M until we can get this sorted out. Don't worry James, She'll be in good hands I promise" replied Bill trying his best to be reassuring as he hung up.

James hung up and turned to look at M who seemed almost terrified and infuriated all at the same time.

"Who the bloody hell does he think he is" she said as tears began to form in her eyes "He has no right to countermand my orders" she continued

James quickly closed the distance between them and pulled her into a loving and protective embrace.

"Shhh...It's going to be alright." he said lightly kissing the top of her head

"I know. It's just that I haven't been alone since I fell, and what if it's a dangerous mission and something happens to you and what if..." James finally cut her off by kissing her before she could work herself up unto a proper state of panic.

"Don't worry, We have no intention of leaving you alone. Eve has gone home sick only she isn't really sick. She is going to stay with you until Bill and I can get this sorted out." he said softly.

"I see" she replied wiping away the tears. " Then you should get going. Wouldn't want to keep the master waiting now would we" she replied with a weak smile.

"I really think I should stay at least until Eve arrives" he protested as he released his grip on her

"James. The sooner you report for duty, the sooner you can get this sorted out" she said reaching up to cup the side of his face "I'll be alright until Eve arrives. I promise" she said as she pulled him down and kissed his forehead.

"I won' be long. I promise" he said kissing her once more before he headed out the door.

M watched as James drove away with tears streaming down her face. She knew she could put an end to this nonsense by revealing the truth about her memory but part of her couldn't face losing all that she had gained in the past few days.

James arrived at the office ready to punch the first person who got in his way. He was ready to give Mallory a piece of his mind and he didn't give a damn about the consequences, However on the ride up to M's office it dawned on him that if he were to do that he would have to explain M's "little" situation thus creating a bigger problem. As he marched thru the outer office he gave a curt nod to Bill.

"Is he in" he asked angrily

"Yes and he's waiting for you and I warn you he isn't happy"

"Well that makes two of us then doesn't it" he replied sharply as he opened the door

"007 Reporting For Duty!" he said sharply as he closed the door.

To be continued...


	17. Chapter 17 Let the Games Begin

**For RebaForever15. I get the darndest ideas when I have particuarlly crummie days :)**

James marched across M's office and place his hands firmly on the desk and peered down at Mallory with nothing but contempt in his eyes.

"What's all this about an assignment?" he demanded "Clearly you knew that I was already on an assignment for M!"

"007, with all due respect M is a grown woman and clearly she is capable of handling matters in her own private life by herself" replied Mallory staring back at James with the same look of contempt.

"Sir you don't understand.." James started to say but was rapidly cut off

"No 007, it is you who does not understand. M does not have the right to use her agents as her own personal escorts no matter what the situation. You do not technically work for her personally. You work for MI6 and at the present time you are needed here do I make myself clear!" he said sharply

"Crystal" said James through clenched teeth

As much as he didn't like it and as much as he wanted to punch Mallory in the face for insinuating that M was abusing her authority, he really couldn't argue the point because he did in fact work for MI6. The fact that M was his immediate supervisor was a mere technicality.

"Now then I'll come straight to the point. A situation has come up in Pakistan involving one Josef Yousef, leader of a splinter terror cell. You are to go to Pakistan and track him down, but DO NOT Engage or otherwise harm him. Do you understand?" he said handing James a folder. " Here are the details. Everything you need to know is in there. You leave in one hour. And Bond.." he said in a rather arrogant tone "Don't cock it up this time! We do NOT want a repeat of Singapore."

"What if he engages Me?" said James somewhat sarcastically

"You have your orders, now get going." hissed Mallory

James left the office even more livid, if that was even possible, than when he had arrived.

"Tanner! Follow me, we need to talk" he said as he headed toward the lift

Bill did as he was told and followed James to the lift.

"Well how did it go? Did you talk him out of sending you on the mission?" asked Bill anxiously

"What do you think"

"How long will you be gone?"

'Not long if I have my way" he replied

"What do we do about M?" asked Bill as he looked around nervously to be sure they weren't overheard

"Look, I have no idea how long this is going to take. I need you or Eve to stay with her until I get back"

"How are we ever going to explain this to her?" Bill replied sounding almost bewildered

"Relax Bill. She's a lot stronger than you think. She may not completely understand exactly what it is that I do at the present time, but she knows it's important. She knew enough to send me here didn't she?" answered James with a slight grin

"Well yes but..."

"Don't worry. She'll be alright as long as she's got the two of you. If she can take on Mallory by herself then she can deal with this." he said as he entered the lift

"Anything in particular you want me to tell her?" asked Bill curiously

"Yes, as a matter of fact, Tell I look forward to investigating her Scarecrow theory in greater detail when I get Back. She'll know what I mean" he said with a wink as the lift door closed.

Eve arrived at M's flat shortly after James left to find M pacing about her sitting room wringing her hands and muttering a lot of incomplete and at times unrepeatable sentences. Eve had never seen her so angry.

"I cannot believe that self-righteous little arrogant twit. Of all the nerve Who the hell does he think he is? As soon as I am out of the office or a few days, he seizes the opportunity to usurp my authority, and claim my office as his own." she said angrily "If I were twenty years younger I would snap him like a twig and use him for kindling"

"M. Can I get you anything" said Eve softly in an attempt to calm her down

"NO!" she replied turning to stare at Eve who was clearly caught off guard by her sudden temper.

"Oh Eve" said M apologetically "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to take out my frustration on you, It's not your fault, Please forgive me"

Eve quickly crossed the room and pulled M into an almost motherly embrace.

"It's ok M. It's not your fault either and under the circumstances you have every right to be angry." she said as she rubbed M's back.

"O, think I passed angry about twenty minutes ago. I think we have now entered the realm of full fledged fury, What do you think?" She said with a weak laugh

"How about some tea?" asked Eve trying to be as cheerful as the circumstances would allow.

"Yes. That would be nice" replied M as she sat down at her desk.

While Eve was in the kitchen preparing the tea, M noticed that her laptop was sitting on the edge of the desk. "It would be very easy to log on and see just exactly what is going on" thought M as she ran her hand across the computer.

When Eve returned a few minutes later she saw M eyeing the laptop.

"I don't suppose you remember the password?" said Eve as she put the tea down

"What?" replied M curiously

"Well if you could remember the password then we could find out just where he's gone and what Mallory is up to"

"Why Eve you sly little thing, The thought hadn't even crossed my mind" said M with a devious little grin

"Well do you?' asked Eve

"Do I what?"

"Do you remember the password?"

"No. But I bet I know who does" replied M with a knowing crafty look

"Right. I'll call him. After all he is your assistant he's bound to know."

Eve quickly rang Bill and explained the situation.

"Well yes I do as a matter of fact" said Bill as he was attempting to carry his coffee and an armload of folders back to his office "Why do you ask?"

TO BE CONTIUNED...


	18. Chapter 18 Spying on a spy

**Just a little short one for now. :)**

Bill arrived at 's flat a few hours later to see what he could do about the password situation.

"So tell me again why were breaking in to you own computer" he said with a smile as he sat down at her desk.

"Well you see, technically I am still the head of MI6, therefore I should be kept informed of the whereabouts of my agents and...Why am I explaining this to you? you already know why I want to get in there" said M with a hint of mock irritation.

"Yes I know but curiosity killed the cat you know" he replied as he opened the computer and began to type "The password, just so you know, is incredibly easy. It's JB_007." he said and with a few taps he was linked to the office

"Why on earth would I make it so easy?" she asked as she was scanning the screen

"Because according to you, and I quote "Bond never thinks of the obvious" thus the password"

"Does it work?"

"Not usually" he replied with a laugh

"I don't suppose you know where they've sent him?" said Eve

"Yes actually he's been sent to Pakistan"

"Pakistan?" replied M

"Yes. Here give me a minute and I'll pull up the mission details for you" he said tapping away on the keyboard.

"There you are ma'am, as requested, mission details" he said as he changed places with M so she could sit.

M scanned the screen paying close attention to any information regarding James.

"So just who is this Josef Yousef?"

"Well apparently he is the head of a small terrorist organization that seems to be getting stronger by the minute, he is very good with computers and he likes to blow things up" relied Bill as he looked over her shoulder.

"What is this order" she asked pointing to the screen "This do not engage, and there is no mention of support operatives, Why not?"

"Apparently James is to follow this Yousef but he's not allowed to touch him"

"Well then why the hell send a double O if he's not allowed to do anything other than watch and report. Any agent could watch" she said angrily as she continued to read

"It's bad enough that he was sent on assignment when he was already on an assignment of sorts, but he wasn't even given the chance to say goodbye" she said sounding almost hurt

"I know M and believe me he wasn't the least bit happy about that but he did ask me to deliver a message" said Bill with a rather odd expression on his face

"Well what is it, what is the message?" asked M anxiously

"He said to tell you that he is looking forward to investigating your Scarecrow theory in greater detail when he gets back" replied Bill with puzzled look. "I can only assume you know what that means"

"Yes" she replied with a mischievous smile "I know exactly what he means"

"Well. what does it mean" asked Bill

"It means don't ask" said Eve with a wink

"Alright you two. Back to the task at hand. Do we have any other operatives in the area?" asked M

"Yes I believe so, Why?" asked Bill suspiciously

"Because I believe I will do a little reassigning of my own. If this Josef Yousef is as dangerous as Mallory seems to think, I want to be sure we have enough people in place should there be a need." replied M firmly

M was about to type in the order before she caught herself. "If I do this myself they will know I remember" she thought as she suddenly took her fingers off the keys.

"Bill, If I tell you what I want can you make it happen?" she asked hesitantly

"Of course ma'am"

"Good, then here's what I want. I want support ops in place and I want you back at headquarters to be my eyes and ears . I want to know just exactly what Mallory is up to. He may think he's in charge, but he is in for a very rude awakening."

Eve just sat back and listened to Bill and M discussing the mission when it suddenly occurred to her that M didn't seem to be asking as many questions as someone with no memory should. M appeared to know exactly what she was talking about.


	19. Chapter 19 Who's the Boss

**I'm not really good with the action stuff so if it's a little off please forgive me. Enjoy**

James arrived in Pakistan after several hours of delays. He was already none too happy about going in the first place and then to top it off he was forced to sit in an airport terminal with a bunch of very unruly, boisterous children. He was hot and tired and yet he somehow found the energy to set out to find this Josef Yousef. He decided not to waste any time because the faster he found his target the faster he could return home to M. "Home," it had a nice ring to it he thought to himself. He had never really thought of his flat as home, more just a place to keep is stuff, but with M, being at her flat, it was different. She was there, she needed him and more to the point he needed her, there was a certain comfort, it just seemed right. "Get hold of yourself" he muttered to himself as he made his way down the narrow, dusty street. "She's in good hands so there's nothing to worry about. Concentrate on the task at hand" he chided himself as he continued his search.

It didn't take long for James to locate his target and thus began the "watching"

What he didn't realize is that he wasn't the only one watching. So was Mallory from headquarters, and so was M from home.

After a few hours the target was on the move with James close behind and something was up. Josef Yousef acted rather nervous, as if he knew he was being followed and his behavior became more and more erratic making it difficult for James to follow.

"Bond, what's the problem' said Mallory sounding slightly irritated

"Well Sir I can't really tell unless I get closer "replied Bond

"Well then get closer"

"I thought you said Do Not Engage"

"I know what I said but we need to know what he's up to and we aren't getting anywhere like this"

"Well what do you suggest?"

"Just get closer!"

It was then that Yousef disappeared down an ally on a dead run with Bond close behind

"Sir he's on to me, I'm in pursuit"

Just then a volley of gunfire was heard thru the ear piece followed by what appeared to be a small explosion

"Bond what's happening! Report!" Shouted Mallory running his hand thru his hair nervously.

"Tanner what's happening?" "Q, I need CCTV, Satellite anything"

"Right Sir" answered Q and Tanner simultaneously as the screens in the command center began to light up like Christmas trees.

Sir. I think you underestimated the situation, He's not alone there are four more shooting at me. Permission to fire!"

"No! I told you in no uncertain terms Do Not Engage do you understand!" shouted Mallory as he was pacing about the command center

It was then that M and Eve entered the command center. M, who had been following the situation from her lap top concluded early on that this mission was about to turn into a giant fiasco of epic proportions that might very likely get her best agent killed all in the name of vanity.

"What the hell is going on?" shouted M as she went to stand next to Tanner at the command desk.

"No need to worry M, I've got the situation under control" said Mallory thru clenched teeth

"Like Hell you do" shouted M as she turned to face Mallory "You've gone and sent an agent with a double O status into an impossible situation with instructions Not to kill. What kind of Bloody plan is that?" she asked as she turned her attention back to the monitors

"Tanner, Report. Where is he?"

"He's just there ma'am, and he's under fire from all directions" said Tanner pointing to the map

"M if you don't mind this is my mission" said Mallory tersely

"Shut up Mallory!" she replied furiously "If you're not part of the solution then you are part of the problem. 007 report what's the situation?"

"M?" he replied sounding confused

"Yes that's right now what's the situation?" she asked again in a rather tense tone

"I'm taking a lot of heavy fire with orders not to return fire ma'am, That's the bloody situation!"He replied angrily as bullets could be heard whizzing past his head.

"007, The do Not engage order has been rescinded effectively immediately." she said firmly "Permission to return Fire."

"With pleasure Ma'am" he replied as rapid gunfire could be heard

Mallory was completely stunned by what was happening.

"M, all due respect but you cannot just waltz in here and take over this mission just because your precious 007 is a bit of a jam" he hissed as he brushed past her

"I don't think you have the balls for this situation!" he said icily

"The advantage is I don't have to think with them" she replied coolly

"Tanner where is he now?" asked M as she scanned the screens

"He's here ma'am, just beyond that building, but his pinned down at the moment" replied Tanner sounding rather concerned

"Where are Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" she asked calmly as several confused glances shot around the room

"They're here Ma'am " said Tanner pointing to the screen "They're just waiting for instructions" replied Tanner as he tried to conceal a slight grin

"Well what are we waiting for, Send them in!" she said impatiently

"Snow White, The Scarecrow could use a little help right about now if you wouldn't mind" said Tanner

"The pleasure would be all ours" was the reply on the other end of the line

"What are they doing!"Shouted Mallory

"Creating a diversion" Replied M sharply

Just then what sounded like a small explosion followed by the sound of heavy artillery was heard.

"007, what's happening? Report" shouted M

There was a long silence before James finally responded

"Just waiting for the dust to settle ma'am" he said with a hint of relief in his voice

"Your instructions are to apprehend one Josef Yousef and bring him in for questioning is that understood?, and Bond, do try your best to avoid killing him, it would be greatly appreciated" she replied in a slightly more relaxed tone

"Yes ma'am and by the way good to have YOU back" he said as he took off in pursuit of the target.

"Now what's he doing?" asked Mallory sounding extremely irritated

"His job" M replied flatly "Mr. Tanner you're in charge, Mr. Mallory, My office NOW!"she said as she headed toward the door with a face like thunder, with Mallory following not far behind.

"Eve" said Tanner motioning for her to come closer "What the hell was that?"

"That my dear Tanner was a tiny little force of nature know as M, and I personally wouldn't want to be in his shoes right about now" she said with a grin

"But what about her memory?"he asked under his breath

"Apparently it has returned in full force along with her temper" she replied shrugging her shoulders

"Apparently" he said nodding in agreement.

The tension was so thick you could have cut it with a knife in M's office with M practically shooting daggers with her eyes at Mallory and him just glaring back at her with complete and total contempt.

"Just what in the Hell were you thinking?" asked M as she took a seat behind her desk staring angrily at Mallory while she waited for his pathetic answer

"A situation arose that needed immediate attention and as you were otherwise occupied that left it to me to deal with it!" he replied sharply

"A situation is that what you call it? a situation. Did it ever occur to you that situations come up all the time, however we do not send in agents until we first have all the facts. There are certain procedures that must be followed so that missions do not turn into fiascos ,You of all people should be aware of this since you are so keen to point them out" she replied angrily

"All due respect M you were nowhere to be found at the time this came up, just what were we to do set it aside until you were Available?" he snapped

"No. on the contrary I expected you to take all the necessary precautions to ensure the safety of our people" she snapped back

"I assume you are referring to 007" he said dryly "I notice you didn't hesitate to call in for reinforcements at the first sign of trouble"

"I thought it was a prudent move under the circumstances"

"Does the PM know that you called in a military strike force?" he asked suspiciously

" Even the PM is smart enough to know not to question our methods" she replied sounding extremely irritated

"Admit it Mallory, you were in over your head and you know it. This was just retaliation for our discussion yesterday. You want me to retire with dignity, well I'll retire when the bloody job is done and not before do I make myself clear?"

"You know it's only a matter of time" he retorted

Just then M's phone rang and it was Bill on the other end.

"M. Just thought you would like to know that 007 has detained the target and will be bringing him in for questioning. They will be arriving in a few hours"

"Thank you Mr. Tanner" she said as she hung up

"007 has a little gift for you. He will be here in a few hours. I believe I will leave the interrogation to you since, as you said, this was your mission."

"Thank you" he replied sounding rather irritated

"And as for your comments regarding 007. Yes, I do tend to let some things slide at times where he is concerned, however sentimentality has nothing to do with it. It is because he is our best bloody agent. He has single handedly kept us out of countless situations and he has personally saved my life on several occasions, so if his methods do not measure up that's too damn bad"

"I see" said Mallory not completely convinced with her explanation "Well then if we are finished I will go and wait for our "Guest" to arrive" he said turning to leave.

"Yes. Why don't you go and do that. And Mallory...If you ever make a comment like that again about my relationship with 007 in front of my staff I will not hesitate to drop you where you stand, Do I make myself clear?" she snapped as she gave him a look that could freeze running water.

"Yes Ma'am" he said as he disappeared out the door.

M just sat at her desk with her head resting on her hands. "What have I done" she thought to herself "Will they ever forgive me, Will HE ever forgive me for not telling him sooner."

TO BE CONTINUED...


	20. Chapter 20 Regret is unprofessional

**For RebaForever15,Prosper the XVIII, Lilylunapotter, and Alana of OulaThank you so much for all of the great reviews and the support. I coudnt have done it without you. And For RebaForever15. I chickened out on the Scarecrow theory so you will just have to use your imagination :)**

Several hours had passed as M sat quietly at her desk glancing thru the endless reports that had piled up while she was gone. "Surly he must have arrived by now" she thought as she checked her watch again. Another Hour or so passed before M decided she was tired of waiting so she called down to interrogation and spoke to the guard on duty.

"Would you please inform me when 007 returns from his mission" she said sounding both tired and impatient

"Ma'am. 007 arrived a little over an hour ago with the subject" was the reply

"I see" she said "Do you know if he is still in the building?" she asked quietly so as not to relay the disappointment she was feeling

"No ma'am. He signed in the subject and left" was the answer

"Thank You"

"Will there be anything else ma'am?" the guard asked in a rather toneless voice

"Yes could you arrange for a car to take me home?"

"Of course ma'am."

With that she placed the phone back on the stand. She couldn't say she was all that surprised that he didn't come to her office to be debriefed. She wasn't the one who actually sent him out in the first place and she was almost certain that he was more than a little angry with her for not telling him about her memory. She was also quite certain that Eve and Bill felt the same as she had not seen hide nor hair of them since the incident in the command center with Mallory.

When the guard called to inform her that the car was waiting, M picked up her handbag, scribbled a quick note informing Eve and Bill that she had gone home and left, silently hoping that James would be there when she arrived.

It was very late when M finally arrived at her dark flat. She hadn't really expected to see any lights on as James had never bothered to turn on the lights any of the previous times he had broken in to wait for her. As she opened the door she entered cautiously, listening for any sign of him, but was instead greeted with complete silence. She flicked on the hall light and poked her head around the corner to look in the sitting room half expecting to see him sitting on the sofa drinking her best scotch, but the room was empty. She the continued to check the other rooms including the bedroom, but in the end she was completely alone. He wasn't there. She returned to the sitting room and poured herself a large drink and sat on the sofa in the dark as tears slowly began to fall down her cheeks. It was just as she had feared. Once the truth was known it was back to business as usual with Eve, Bill and 007 all keeping their respective distance and to be truthful it hurt. She didn't give a damn how inappropriate their relationships had become. She loved them, all three of them, and she missed them. She loved how close they had all become in the last few days, and she loved knowing what it meant to belong to a "Family" of sorts for the first time in her life, and now it was gone simply because she hadn't had the courage to tell them the truth. She had committed what she deemed the ultimate sin, she had lied, and as unbelievable as it sounded she was full of regret which, in her own words was unprofessional but she really didn't care anymore.

Whether it was sitting in the dark crying, the late hour, the scotch or a combination of all three M noticed that she was incredibly tired and just didn't have the strength or ambition to climb the stairs to her room so she settled down on the sofa and drifted off to a very restless sleep. It wasn't long before M felt the uneasiness of someone watching her while she slept. When she opened her eyes she could just make out the silhouette of James sitting in the chair opposite of her and she immediately felt herself tense as she sat up.

"You know you really shouldn't sleep on the sofa, it's bad for your back" he said nonchalantly

"How long have you been sitting there?" she asked hesitantly

"Long enough to know that your sleep was anything but restful" he replied

"I'm surprised that you came given the circumstances"

"Well this is our custom isn't it. I go away on a mission and when I return I come here"

"Well yes, but I just thought..."

"So why is today any different?"

"Well...given the events of the day..."

"Yes, about that. Brilliant plan. I really appreciated the back up. Who would have thought that little computer geek would have so much fire power" he said sounding a bit sarcastic

"Well yes Mallory didn't really think this through before..." she started to say before being cut off.

"What's Mallory got to do with it?" he asked almost sounding confused

M was completely at a loss for words. She had lost the thread of the conversation. What did he mean what did Mallory have to do with this? He had everything to do with this. It was his bloody plan to send James deliberately into harm's way with no support and orders NOT to kill. This was not making any sense at all. M slowly rose from the sofa and began to pace about the room all the while keeping an eye on James.

"007. forgive me for asking but from where have you just returned?' she asked apprehensively

"Why do you ask?"

"I was just curious" she replied sounding a bit uneasy

"Don't you remember" he said eyeing her curiously

At this point she really didn't know what she remembered and what she didn't. Her mind was racing as she tried to recall the last few days. She clearly remembered her rather unpleasant conversation with Mallory about her "Voluntary "retirement, She clearly remembered her heated discussion with James about his recklessness on his last mission, She clearly remembered coming home and Mallory calling demanding an early morning to continue their earlier discussion and after that everything was beginning to be one giant blur. Was he just toying with her or was it all just a dream. What if she hadn't really fallen down the stairs? What if she hadn't really lost her memory? What if she had simply fallen asleep on the sofa and it was all just a dream.

James sat in the chair watching M as she paced about the room. He could see the confusion clearly on her face as she tried to work out what was going on. She continued to pace back and forth before she finally stopped and stared out the window with a look of shock and pain across her face. She looked totally heartbroken and he couldn't stand it anymore. Yes he was angry with her for keeping the fact that she remembered to herself, but then he remembered what he had told Bill and Eve. M was a private person, and if she remembered she wouldn't say out of fear of being wrong and losing the only security she had, which was the three of them.

M was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't hear James get up from his chair. It wasn't until she felt his arms around her pulling her close to him that she realized he was even still there.

"What are you doing?" she asked choking back her tears as she looked up at him

"I'm so sorry M. I never meant to hurt you, at least not like this" he said as he leaned down and gently kissed her

"I don't understand" she said in a shaky voice

"I was angry. Angry because you didn't tell me you remembered, angry because you let Mallory send me on this bloody godforsaken, ill-conceived asinine mission, angry that I couldn't be here with you when I thought you needed me" he said as he continued to place light kisses on her forehead and neck.

"Oh James, I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me" she cried as she held onto him tightly" I wanted to tell you honestly I did, but I was afraid" she said as she buried her head in his shoulder and began to sob.

"And just what were you afraid would happen" he asked tenderly as he tilted her face up to look into her eyes

"I was afraid of losing you. I was afraid that if you knew the truth things would go back to the way they were, you know business as usual" she replied with such sadness in her voice that it nearly broke his heart

"M. Don't you know by now that you have a snowballs chance in hell of losing me. I love you. I always have, it just took a tumble down the stairs for me to realize that" he said wiping away her tears

"But now that I have my memory back how can this possible work? There are rules" she said quietly as she started to pull away

"If I am not mistaken, you are the boss and you make the rules."

"Yes but..."

"Let's just take it one day at a time, shall we. Oh. I almost forgot." he said releasing her "I brought you something"

James went to retrieve the box that had been sitting by the chair

"What's this?" she asked with a puzzled look

"Well. Why don't you open it and find out" he replied with a mischievous grin

M opened the box to find a blue and white gingham dressing gown inside.

"What is this?" she said pulling out the gown to take a closer look.

"Didn't Bill give you my message?" he asked somewhat amused by her expression

"What message?"

"The one where I said I looked forward to investigating your Scarecrow theory in further detail" he smirked

"Oh I see. And so you thought it would be more helpful if I dressed the part is that it?" she asked smiling slightly

"Something like that" he said pulling her to him in a strong embrace

"Well. I for one have no intention of wearing that monstrosity" she laughed as she pointed to the dressing gown.

"Oh I think you will, but not for very long if I have anything to say about it" he said as he scooped her up in his arms and headed for the stairs.

James and M spent the rest of the night tenderly and passionately investigating the Scarecrow theory and by morning they were both exhausted, happy and content to just lay in each other's arms with her head resting on his chest and his arms wrapped securely around her.

"James"

"Hmmm"

"Do you think that Bill and Eve will forgive me?"

"Of course they will. Why do you ask?"

"It's just that I really should have told them sooner"

"They love you M. Not because you are the boss, but because they got the chance to see what an amazing person you are underneath that tough exterior you present at the office, and truth be told I think all of us, myself included wished if only for a moment that it could stay that way a little longer" he said as he kissed the top of her head

"Why? because you all liked me better without my memory?" she said sounding almost hurt by his statement

"No" he replied tilting her head up so he could look into her bright beautiful eyes "Because for that brief moment in time we were a real" family". One that cares about each other, loves each other no matter what, and it was a very nice feeling"

"I love you James" she said shifting up to kiss him

"It's a good thing, because I love you too" he said rolling her over onto her back so that he could deepen the kiss.


End file.
